The Pull To Fear

Yesterday life really taught me something. With some honesty, I have been experiencing a bit of a strange phase in my own mentality and emotional well being. I began to feel better than ever, my head was feeling clearer, my heart felt more connected, I felt energy and vitality, motivation, everything seemed to be more than good, but amazing. All of the sudden I was hit with all these fearful thoughts and worst case scenarios, lack of energy, digestive issues, trouble sleeping. My motivation and drive diminished to being almost nonexistent, I wanted to distract myself all the time to avoid my thoughts and emotions, I had crazy cravings for sweets, it seemed like all my stomach could digest without discomfort, and hopelessness and disappointment was beginning to settle in. Yesterday it then dawned on me that this was part of the healing process. Learning how to not allow fear to control me. To fight against it. To push back. The closer we get to freedom and wholeness, it seems fear creeps in full throttle to bring us back to our old protective, boxed in, worlds because ironically, wholeness can feel vulnerable and scary. This can make us vear off course and lose focus. This is all part of our paths to healing, another layer of fear being peeled off so you can get closer to your highest self, enlightenment, wholeness.